$1000 and the Crazy Brownie Lady

As most of you know I went to Georgia Tech and my good friend from highschool Nate went to Clemson. Both campuses are only about a 2-hour drive from each other so we have both been to every GT/Clemson game since we were freshman in 1999. Two years ago when Nate and Steph came down for the game Tech was supposed to get slaughtered by Clemson and Nate wanted to place a wager on the game. While at a bar the night before he convinced me to bet him a $1000 that Tech would win straight up; no spread. At the time I figured I just threw away 1000 bones but its turns out that Tech won the next day. Not only did they win but they were leading most of the game. Which gave me the opportunity to scream “ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!” at the top of my lungs into Nate’s ear every 10 seconds. He only paid me $500 and at one point in the year he had said we should go double or nothing on next years game. This past year my R&R happened to land right on Clemson/GT game so in preparation for the game I had t-shirts made that said GT Clemson with the date and ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS on the back. Nate had happened to score an unbelievable parking spot right next to the entrance so we were able to walk back to the car and pound a few more shots at halftime. While I’m knee deep in a Powers bottle a mildly attractive 30-something blonde chick with a southern accent thicker than biscuit gravy approaches me and comments on my shirt.

Crazy brownie lady: Hey y’all what’s one thousand dollars all about?

I proceed to tell her the story

Crazy brownie lady: Can I have some?

Me: laughing well I haven’t won it yet.

Crazy brownie lady: Well if you y’all win can I have some of that money?

Me: What?

Crazy brownie lady: My husband just lost his job and you don’t need all the whole thousand dollars I just want a little. Tell you what I made some special brownies and I’ll sell you some after the game.

Me:…O…K

Lets be honest I lived in Atlanta for 8 years I’m used to dealing with panhandlers, just not well dressed white ones (sorry if that offends you but it doesn’t make it any less true). Tech did win the game but Nate bitched out of the bet so there was no money exchanged at all this year. As I return to the tailgate I see crazy brownie lady waiting near the car but this time she has a 3-year-old daughter in tow and a fist full of brownies.

Crazy brownie lady: Hey y’all!! Y’all won! Do you want some brownies?

Me: Yeah whatever; how much for two?

Crazy brownie lady: Twenty dollars each.

Me: What!?…Fine, whatever.

So I grab two out of the little girl’s hands and Douchie (J.T.) and I pound some brownies and we both come to the conclusion that there is nothing “special” about these brownies whatsoever. We start a game of cornhole (or bags) and try to phase out this crazy bitch. 30 minutes later I get a tug on my leg and it’s a 3-year-old girl with a huge platter of brownies.

Little girl: Do you want some brownies?

Me: No I’m all set sweetheart.

Crazy Brownie Lady: Its OK honey, he doesn’t want any. I guess he wants that whole thousand dollars to himself.

Am I getting guilt-tripped into buying a platter of normal brownies by a crazy bitch and her 3-year-old daughter? Luckily I’m a heartless bastard.