Return to Africa

Back to Africa

So… after a short stint back in the UK I am headed once again to meet the lovely people at the US-Algerian embassy in D.C.; to attempt for the second time, to get my long-term work visa. The second time around I have this process down so I was well prepared for the lies and shady goings-on of the embassy.

Me: Work visa application
Reception: Do you have passport photos?
Me: right here
Reception: Do you have $100.00 money order?
Me: right here
Reception: Do you have 2 applications?
Me:… 2?
Reception: Yes you need 2.
Me: OK I’ll go back to the hotel and print out another one.
Reception: That is not necessary you can just copy.
Me: Oh great you can make me a copy.
Reception: No
Me:… OK I’ll just go back to the hotel then.
Reception: Not necessary sir you can just make a copy.
Me:… “sigh”…Do you have a copy machine?
Reception: Yes, of course.
Me: …Well can I use it?
Reception: No
Me:…(what?!?!)
Me: OK then, I’m going to go now

Come back, give her the second copy and I’m on my merry way. She tells me that it will be ready Friday. Another lie; it will most likely be finished in a day or two. I pick up my visa 2 days later and I’m off to Amsterdam.

I stayed in my hotel room and got room service for 2 days; and no one has any proof otherwise.

So anyways off to Africa, Hooray!! I get off the plane and much to my surprise there is a guy holding a sign that says my name right on it, in big bold letters. This seems odd to me after the big stink the last guy made about not having a sign. Not only that, when I walk up to the guy and tell him I’m “Some Guy” this is the exchange that takes place.

Me: Hi I’m “Some Guy”
Driver: Who do you work for?

This seems very shady to me.

Me: umm…Company A (the names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Driver: Yes of course, of course, Company A
Me: uh, what company do you work for?
Driver: I work for Company A as well.

OK…this is the moment that I fear from previous blogs, you know the drill: hood, webcam, big sword, Allah. I feel like I have to test this guy.

Me: So, uh which hotel are we going to?
Driver: “xxxxxxxx”

OK this guy seems legit; we’ll give him a go. I make it to the lovely xxxxxxxx in one piece and the next day its army escort time to the site. The army escort is an interesting affair. It basically consists of 3 cars; 2 marked army vans and an unmarked car. We drive down the Algerian highway as an army car sandwich and me in the unmarked car as the meat. I mean when you think about it, if you’re trying to buy your way to allah with human explosion (Prague ’06 represent) isn’t it obvious that the infidel is in the middle car? Well anyway, halfway through there is a shift change. We wait on the side of the road as the army leaves and the police arrive. Jurisdiction conflict I guess…but, my Algerian long term contract has finally started…so it seems…