For some reason no matter what nationality a person is or what primary language they possess if they don’t know very much English the first 2 phrases everyone picks up are “no problem” and “number one”. Coming from the perspective of someone who has struggled with foreign languages I understand that it is much easier to understand a foreign language than it is to speak it. So when you are in this transition period of language retard to borderline fluency you try to steer the conversation so you can respond with the words you do know. When you drink it gets easier and when you get drunk its impossible. So I want you to imagine a conversation where the person who are talking to understands half of what you’re saying but can only respond with either “no problem” or “number one”.
Me: Can I get a hamburger?
Waiter: Ugh …yes no problem.
Me: Thanks buddy
Waiter: USA Number one!
And so on and so forth. The reason why I bring this up is because I am amazed by how many conversations can continue like this.
Me: How can I get some girls around here?
Waiter: For you? No problem my friend, no problem.
Me: Sweet, are they good looking?
Wiater: Number one!
Me: Actually I’m looking for a girl who will do number 2 also.
Waiter: No problem
Me: Fantastic, you’re the man.
Waiter: You number one!
Me: I’m looking for top shelf though my friend
Wiater: For you? No problem my friend no money. Very very good sewha.
Me: Well where is this sewha?
Wiater: Number one?
Me: Hey I’ll take as many as I can get.
Waiter: No problem.
Oh man…Maybe this isn’t funny for you but I am pissing my pants laughing just writing this. Its just a culture thing that I find hilarious. It’s similar to the Filipinos and the “And then?”. But that’s another story for another time. I’m going to start pulling out some of my old stories from college and high school to fill in some of the lulls, check in next week.
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